T-28 Days to August 7th

Think of a time in your life you remember being proud of yourself. What did that moment feel like? Are there tastes and sounds you associate with it?

Now I want you to focus on how long that moment lasted. Was it truly a passing moment, or did the feeling of elation linger? When it passed, what caused your mind to move on? What feelings replaced the pride?

I present this challenge out of curiosity because for most of my life I was convinced that when something good happened to me, something bad was sure to follow. And so rather than risk upsetting the balance of the universe, I would choose to keep my pride close to my chest.

There was one time though, when I did something so outside of my expectations that I needed to share (and celebrate) it with friends.

In 2016 I wrote an entire book most of an entire book in one month. It was for National Novel Writing Month, and by the time November rolled into December, I had 50,000 words of a young adult dystopian novel on my hands.

I was giddy. I was proud. I needed to celebrate. Despite the fact December 1st was on a Thursday, I gathered my closest friends for a night out to celebrate me and my accomplishment.

Giving the utmost credit and respect to my friends, they were happy for me, and they gladly participated in my celebration.

But as we sat around drinking, I remember feeling an emptiness. I had done it, I’d written more than I’d ever written in my entire life. I had (what I thought was) a serious novel on my hands, and my friends were happy for me.

But they weren’t happy enough for me.

I had, and still have, an obnoxious imagination. Give me a scene and I’ll build it into a blockbuster hit in no time. Where my friends were out on a Thursday night celebrating my victory, in my mind they were throwing me a parade. It was an impossibly unfair world in which they were captive residents.

In the years since, I’ve learned perhaps one of my most valuable lessons. Be your own biggest fan, both for practical and motivational reasons.

You have the power to believe in yourself more than anyone else on this planet, and that belief can move (and create) worlds when you let it cook. Even if you’ve hit life’s jackpot and have a cheerleader in your corner 24/7, their support will pale in comparison to what your own self belief can accomplish.

You remember how good it felt to be proud of yourself? That feeling doesn’t need validation. Act like your own biggest fan.